Lots of crying in store for Raila haters and enemies in likely flop of Miguna book
Sunday, July 15, 2012, Nairobi, Kenya
The much talked about controversial book by Miguna Miguna was launched last night at the Intercontinental Hotel and to say the event was anti-climactic would be the understatement of the year.
Chief Justice Willy Mutunga having declined Miguna’s invitation to be the guest of honor, attendees were treated to a relatively unknown Raila basher from the Lake region going by the screen name “Janeko.”
Asked about his choice of this Janeko to be the guest of honor, Miguna said he was the only one he could find to accept his invitation, everyone else in their right mind having turned him down, including many other Raila bashers who did not want to have the dubious distinction of having presided over the launching of a book that is likely—let’s say not exactly a must read for the likely next president of the Republic of Kenya and Miguna’s target for revenge in the book.
Once the event was gaveled to order, the MC, Jett Koinage urged the audience to “sit tight” and get ready to devour the juiciest stuff about Raila not even in the book from the chief blender himself.
As warm up, various lesser known or hardly known Raila haters and enemies took to the mike to condemn Raila for still being such an ubwogable character in Kenyan politics long after he demolished KANU.
They blamed Raila for everything that’s wrong in the country an average Kenyan in the audience would have been confused in being led to believe Kenyatta had nothing to do with what ails the country; Moi had nothing to do with it; Kibaki has nothing to do with it and the entire political class has had nothing to do with it but only Raila is to be blamed for all that has been wrong in the country since independence!
They would also be very confused how this makes sense sense given the fact that Raila sacrificed his life and paid dearly for his quest for reforms and freedom in the country.
Surely, this cannot be but has it stopped those bent on “stopping” Raila from peddling the lie?
Not at all.
Janeko then took the mike and basically recycled the same old “Raila is evil” mantra without adding anything new to the lie but went on to “guarantee” that Raila is now finished thanks to this “brilliant expose” that everyone else knows to be nothing but mostly gossip and a collection of imaginary tales.
If the attendees at the event were “sitting tight” during the warm up and talk by the guest of honor, they were sitting on the edge of their seats by the time Miguna took the mike to “really spill the beans” or at least spill whatever was left with what little he may have had in the pot, having practically spilled whatever there was ahead of the book launch.
To the dismay of the captive audience at the InterCon, however, Miguna completely failed to deliver anything more “juicier” than he already has by way of smearing Raila when it was his turn to smear.
Instead, Miguna talked about he, himself and him!
The audience collectively yawned and sometimes very severely and restlessly so.
“I am totally disappointed,” wailed Kamale, a well known critic of the PM, at a popular Kenyan forum known as Jukwaa, adding, “I came here fully expecting Miguna to tell us where the skeletons are and all I get is there are skeletons all over the government!”
Equally disappointed is Mwalam Kuu, another Raila critic who was at the verge of tears having traveled all the way from up-country to hear first-hand Miguna tearing Raila down only to find someone talking about himself and how important he is to the country!
The disappointment was palpable and universal.
“I have been biting my nails to the point of bleeding next to my computer in the hopes someone at the event will tweet breaking news about Miguna’s latest juicy gossip,” said David Ochagi, a Raila hater and blogger in the US, “I mean, if this is the best Miguna can do, then *&^% him!”
We caught up with Miguna at the airport this morning as he was headed to self-imposed political exile and sought some answers to questions in people’s minds which he not surprisingly attempted to answer:
Reporter: How did the book launch go last night?
Miguna: Oh, very well; very well, indeed.
Reporter: That’s not the feedback we are getting. Everyone we have talked to who was at the launch says even the drinks offered were stale. They said you merely talked about yourself and others merely recycled same old rants and raves about Raila. Why such a discrepancy?
Miguna: Well, first of all, this book is really about me. I don’t understand why people can’t get such a simple concept. I am describing to you my life experience and in particular what I saw and lived through while in good books with the PM. If I have trashed Raila in the book, then that’s good for me because I must vent my anger with the man for having thrown me under the bus for no reason other than the fact everyone was calling for my head.
Reporter: It is said you were sacked for insubordination and boisterousness. Are you saying the PM had no reason to fire you?
Miguna: Yes. I was too important to be sacked. I sacrificed a lot to get that job the only way Raila would have avoided my vengeful wrath is sacking all those others who wanted me out of there.
Reporter: You are not the first neither are you going to be the last person to be sacked as a political aide; why have you made it appear as if yours is a unique situation that must be treated differently?
Miguna: I have already answered that question.
Reporter: Sorry; my bad. You are too important to be sacked…exactly how so? What makes you more important than those others before you, including even those with much higher positions and status such as permanent secretaries and ministers who have been sacked for any number of reasons, including at the whim of the hiring authority?
Miguna: I don’t have an answer to that so ask your next question.
Reporter: Okay. From what you have made public and what we have been able to glean from perusing the book, you appear to disclose information that may or may not be confidential but one you learned while serving as an officer of the government in therefore violation of the Public Officer Ethics Act; does that bother you at all or are you concerned about the consequences of such violation?
Miguna: [Laughing] No; not at all. I am no longer in government! The punishment for violating that law at worst is being sacked and I have been sacked already!
Reporter: Okay; what about allegations you make about individuals including Raila that turn out to be verifiably false and defamatory; are you concerned about being sued by those who may be harmed by such smears and defamation?
Miguna: No. I am not because I don’t think Raila would lower himself to sue me; besides, most of the stuff I have said about him is what I googled or bar gossip I have heard over the years we have all heard to no end and nothing really new to anyone who even mildly follows these things. As for the Carolis and Orengos and others I have singularly picked out for my vengeful ax, well; let them bring it on. I have taken the time to be clever in how I besmirch them I doubt they can succeed in making a case of defamation against me or my publisher.
Reporter: Are you sure you are not going to regret this level of false confidence?
Miguna: Well; I’ll cross the bridge when I get there. Right now, my mission is to finish Raila politically and if others are finished along with him, then those will merely be collateral damage.
Reporter: And what if you don’t succeed in your mission; what if despite all of this Raila is still reelected as president, would you then deem yourself a failure and having expended so much energy and time in pursuit of a cause that does you more harm than good?
Miguna: Not really. I have collected a good upfront fee for my book and expect some loyalties in the future and even if the book bombs, I have accomplished the most rewarding of all things I could do and that is, avenge my sacking by casting Raila in the most negative manner I could without crossing the line over to outright lying or defamation.
Reporter: But there are outright lies you have told even in the bits of teases that have been “serialized” by the Daily Nation otherwise known as the UK Daily. For example, you have told two different versions of how Raila was introduced to some businessman which name two different people as being the ones who introduced Raila to the man; obviously, even in fiction, if one is true, the other one has to be a lie; which one is which and how many accounts like this do you have in the book?
Miguna: Well, this is the job of the editors. I can’t be responsible for their failure to catch whoppers like that.
Reporter: What about your political future. Many objective observers say you cannot be hired even by Raila haters and enemies because you are basically a walking time-bomb ready to go off anytime you deem wronged; does that bother you?
Miguna: Wacha, wacha, wewe! I know nobody would hire me now that’s why I will go to the people directly and seek their vote as an MP. That’s all I really ever wanted. I am sure they will reward me for my effort to stop Raila from being elected and, besides, Kibaki is retiring and I’ll be competitive there—and who knows, Kibaki himself may endorse me!
Reporter: Wait a minute, are you saying you intend to contest Kibaki’s parliamentary seat?
Miguna: Precisely; I have as much chance of capturing that seat if not more than anywhere else in the country, including my own backyard where I am no more welcome than a skunk at a picnic.
Reporter: Interesting. Now, you are quoted as saying that you “continued to challenge the merchants of impunity, again and again” while at the PM’s office and that you “considered it part of your job to protect public interest” and further that this made you “a derided and feared figure in the corridors of power,” which you claim is the price you were prepared to pay. Several questions about this: First, when was the first time you challenged impunity and specifically against who and how exactly did you do that?
Miguna: Ah…ah I don’t recall the first time but it was after I went to work for the PM.
Reporter: I take that as a non-answer. What about corruption; when was the first time you confronted corruption at the PM’s office, what exactly did you do about it and who were the culprits.
Miguna: Well, I have said that there was this one time I had a meeting with the PM and Caroli and when the PM asked Caroli whether it was true he telephoned the NCPB managing director from his office phone and with that—bam, I confirmed that both Raila and Caroli were privy to the maize scandal.
Reporter: Leaving aside the question of whether being “privy” to a corrupt deal is being a part of it, did you then go to the anti-corruption agency or resign in protest or in any way publicly express your displeasure with this suspicion and confirmation of yours?
Miguna: No. I didn’t see a need to.
Reporter: But you say you considered it part of your job to protect the public interest and yet here you are basically admitting that you were part of a cover-up of major corruption?
Miguna: Well, ahhh…I did confront corruption and I have said many of these things I regret not having done something about it before being sacked.
Miguna: I have also said I should have known and appreciated, once you start sliding down that moral and legal slippery rope, you can’t apply any brakes until you reach the bottom.
Reporter: So, the “bottom” was your being sacked; had you not been sacked, you’ll still be sliding down that moral and legal slippery rope and happily working and prepared to die for the PM?
Miguna: [Visibly angry] Well, watch it, pal. You back me up to a corner too much I may not have any choice but land a few of this on you [raising his clenched fist]; have you not read what I did to the yingling of an MP by the name Isaac Ruto?
Reporter: Wow! Take it easy. I am just asking questions everyone else wants to know but if this is starting to get into your skin, I suggest we take a break–now!
To be continued.
***The foregoing is a predictive and futuristic reporting and interview that may or may not unfold as predicted.***